I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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