i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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