I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
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As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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