Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
