so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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