if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
