Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
