Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
