I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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