ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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