oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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