Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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