you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
