Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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