the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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