What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
