Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
They took my balls.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
