He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
