so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
