bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
