He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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