they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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