i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
