And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
