dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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