wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Your penis caused this!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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