Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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