sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
