how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I lost the right to judge tonight
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
