The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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