he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
