so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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