I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
