i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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