True but thats because hes a fetus.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
