Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He? As in you personified your dick?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
