OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
