Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
