Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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