i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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