I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
