I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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