im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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