I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
