plz talk dirty to me
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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