I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
