and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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