I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
