yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
