miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
