big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize
